I’ve long pondered the role of rhythms in life—and how often we try, to our own detriment, to bypass them.
When I was in college, I worked at UPS. I stayed for six years, even a year after graduating, and spent time in management. My chief frustration in that role was the constant pursuit of what felt like never-ending bar-raising.
Here’s how it worked: we’d be handed production goals for our warehouse. Those goals were based on someone else’s time study of our facility. We would grind, push, and adjust until we finally hit them. And then—new time study, new goals. Immediately. Suddenly, what was once a win became the new baseline. Every 3–6 months, we entered a fresh cycle of strife to meet a “new normal.”
Looking back, I realize my frustration came from what I’d call a short-circuited leadership cycle. We ping-ponged between demands for action and accountability—but we never had agreement.
And without agreement, leadership eventually breaks down.
Triple-A Leadership
The key to leading effective and happy teams is remembering that agreement is the foundation. Not agreement enforced by reward or punishment, but agreement forged through collaboration.
Think of it as Triple-A Leadership:
- Agreement – the foundation.
- Action – the fruit of that agreement.
- Accountability – the rhythm that sustains progress.
Let’s walk through each.
Step 1: Agreement
Any venture involving more than one person should begin with agreement. Agreement brings clarity about responsibility, resources, and outcomes.
At its core, agreement means the team—whether two people or twenty—shares a common understanding of the beginning, the ending, and the journey in between.
But here’s the challenge: many leaders (myself included) often start with a clear picture of what they want to see happen. That’s not wrong—it’s part of vision. But vision without agreement can be alienating.
So how do you get agreement? Here’s a framework you can use.
The “I Want” → “How Could” Framework
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Write down what you want.
Be as clear and specific as possible. Keep the list short—no more than 5–7 “I want” statements in a single meeting.- Example: I want our team to move our average follow-up time from 72 hours to 12 hours.
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Turn it into a question.
Reframe the statement as a collaborative “How could” question.- Example: How could we adjust our average follow-up time from 72 hours to 12 hours?
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Bring it to the team.
In your meeting, share the “How could” questions along with the “why” behind them. Then ask—and really listen. -
Listen for gold.
As the team responds, pay close attention to the person who moves from “How could we…” to “I could…”. That shift is the gold standard of buy-in. Even better? When someone’s “I could” helps a teammate succeed. -
Capture agreement.
Write down the observations, points of clarity, and small steps where there is genuine alignment.
Step 2: Action
Agreement without action is wishful thinking. The next step is defining actions clearly, supported by resources.
A few guidelines for this stage:
- Don’t overshoot. Every action requires input—time, money, or both. Keep that in mind.
- Clarify duration. Label actions as either temporary adjustments or long-term commitments.
- Define responsibilities. Everyone should know exactly who is doing what and what handoffs are expected. Surprises are your enemy here.
One of the most flagrant abuses of leadership is not continuous improvement—it’s continuous burdening.
Be careful: if you lean too heavily on the same “I got this” person, over time they can quietly become the “I’m broken” person. Actions must be distributed in ways that sustain—not crush—your people.
Step 3: Accountability
Finally, we come to accountability.
Here’s the problem: when people hear “accountability,” they tend to think of it in negative terms—being called out for failure. But true accountability, when built on agreement and action, is life-giving.
Accountability should not feel like reporting to a boss. Instead, it’s about being responsible to the team and to the outcome you’ve all agreed upon.
This is where your earlier “why” becomes crucial. Don’t just present the task—present the value.
- “If we moved guest follow-up from 72 hours to 12 hours, guest retention would increase by X%. We’d be able to better serve newcomers, and our entire church community would feel the difference.”
When people understand the why behind their work—and know they’ve helped shape the agreement—they’ll hold themselves and one another accountable in a healthier way.
Bringing It Together
Teams who are truly committed to each other will always outperform teams made up of individuals committed only to themselves.
Triple-A leadership—agreement, action, accountability—creates rhythms that don’t just drive results. They build trust. They sustain morale. And they make your team both effective and happy.
Leadership is not about bar-raising that never ends. It’s about creating agreements people believe in, actions people can sustain, and accountability that pulls the team forward together.